The Least Important Questions Ever.

 

Well, these questions keep persistently irritating me (hell, I wish they did, frankly) which is why I thought I’d answer them for a quick post (you really needn’t read this if you wish):

 

 

  • What am I even doing? Short answer, typing out a post that should have gone up by now. (Long answer, I can’t wait to bore you with: here).
  • Do you ever sleep? My parents would answer in the affirmative, my dark circles would prove otherwise.
  • Do you have any friends? I’d like to think so- a grand total of 367 when I left Facebook.
  • No, really? I don’t know how to maintain too many simultaneously so I have a handful of friends everywhere I go, but only just few. Acquaintances, numerous.

 

  • How are you so tall? I actually stretch myself really, really well each morning- like taffy- so it adds a foot to my frame everyday. Oh, and Horlicks. And swimming. And cycling. And living long enough to grow.
  • How are you so funny? I just try really, really hard.                                                                Oh, what? That was sarcasm..?
  • Where do you find your vast library of music from? Hours of consistent digging on the internet, following the most obscure leads and suggestions and keeping an open mind. And it used to also stem from internet torrent downloads, but no more. That’s illegal and unfair (and banned from the hostel LAN connection).

 

   (Quick suggestion: Listen to this here.)

 

  • Why are you so interested in everything? Au contraire, I never liked football and most other sports.
  • Don’t you feel weird and ugly/bad/insecure being around more attractive and beautiful people? (PS. Legit question I got asked.) I never thought others saw my features and body as ugly and detestable till that point, but it explains a lot. Short version of my answer: It depends on what’s expected of me in a situation- I can cope with almost everything except sitting still and looking pretty and making conversation- so I’m sorted most of the times. Long answer: There is none. There’s only nuances.
  • Rate your life out of a 10: I’d honestly have to say 6.5.
  • Will you ever stop boring me? Sincerely, yes- when my objective is achieved- and even more sincerely, thank you for even being here.

 

 

*Waving hand emoji*

Omens

I might come off as a put together person off first glance but I have so much whimsy in me it’s really surprising I get anything done.

I believe in omens. I truly do.

I don’t actively watch for them, just to clarify.

It’s just that when things happen far too coincidentally, I can’t help believe it means something.

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Nevermind

 

 

“I type a text but then I nevermind that-

I feel these feelings but you never mind that-“

 

 

Story of my life?

 

I’m the one that this tearful message came pinging to.

However, I’d rather be the one sending this tragic message to someone, in this case.

 

That’s what comes out of falling for me, I suppose.

Only, this time I feel like an unfair, sadistic fiend sending the guy a nevermind.

He is- was by now, probably- my best friend after all.

I can’t help not being in love with him.

I have no capacity for love.

Not any more, at least.

I feel like such a terrible friend but I also can’t bring myself to lie to him.

 

He’s a cute boy, no doubt. It’s one of the reasons I fell for his offer of friendship. He could make anything sound funny, his dimples showed up at the most appropriate moments and he happened to be a class A nerd (which I discovered by total accident) in secret, which worked well for him- he had all these cute girls hanging by a thread.  

 

I have a strong predilection to hate such boys.

 

I hated him too, but very impersonally- he stood for everything I hated in a boy.

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Mourning A Loss

Okay, so this is what happened to me last week.

I was doing some much needed cleaning and sorting in my home (because I was on a new year, new me! kind of high) and I found tons of stuff that transported me straight to 10 years ago. It’s a little scary for me to realize I’d been hoarding books and games since that innocent little age and that it’s been 10 whole years since I’d begun properly reading. I was a little overwhelmed by the quantity of my selfishness and the amount of support my reading habit had obviously been benefitted by- so thank you everybody for spoiling me as a kid.

The weirder aspect of memories gushing is the distinctive feeling of nostalgia- I had no real experience of that until I came face to face with the objects that literally made my life complete then- and nostalgia has such a stand out flavour among all the other emotions! It’s a blend of welcome realizations, filled with the regret for the quick passage of time, the illusion of peace and quiet and utter satisfaction (that only a poor memory can support because I don’t believe anybody had that peaceful a life, as quiet a life as they wax poetic about while reminiscing about their childhood) and the joy of uncovering the secrets of your younger self- someone you’ve obviously grown up from but didn’t realize when exactly you changed so drastically.

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My Affinity For Lists

I’ve grown to like making one for everything and now it’s a strange habit that eases my life out in many ways but I cannot imagine why it attracts my fancy so much, given that I’m a very disorganized and confused person inherently.

I’m neither neat nor very good at planning but now my life is all about making to do lists and jotting literally anything down in a bullet journal.

I have this very strange habit of writing down all sorts of tasks in my lists- from tidying my desk, making my bed to getting an amazing grade point on the same list usually and just checking off the easy tasks in a day gives me so much energy and validation that I can really imagine doing all sorts of tougher, out of reach tasks too. It’s working out well for me but there’s got to be some sort of limit as to how much these lists have become my life. From casually referring to the to dos of the day to living by my planner (except it’s a cheap diary because someone pointed out to me that spending a thousand bucks on a planner was sheer madness and I realized I was slowly but surely going down a slippery slope), there’s a little thing called spontaneity that seems to have edged out of my life because I didn’t list it out as something I wanted my life to be about and that’s okay because I’m looking for order and discipline.

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Keeping Up With The Times

Almost a cliché idea but it’s the responsibility of all internet creators to address that it’s a new year and make a list. Any kind of list. (The most irrelevant kinds of lists- what they learned in the past year to what their goals are this year to their most liked Instagram pictures of the past year to how to get started in the new year better etc etc.)

So, in keeping with the pointless tradition of starting afresh and setting goals and all that, here is what I think should be on your list, your list and everybody’s list! because well, I’m entitled to an opinion here because I know only my friends read this and I know what you’re like, people (and I needed to write a post in keeping with the theme).

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