Just A Reality Check.

So I recently watched an animated movie after too much of a sabbatical from the world of animation and you know what? I totally loved the film- it had a mature story line, a classic plot twist, the underdog phenomenon and brilliant animation.

These attributes, however, confuse me when I remember I was watching a film meant for kids.

The movie was supposed to be for kids so why was I not impressed by the lightness, the colours, the magic of innocence and just the crazy simplicity of the story?

Because movies just aren’t made that way now. Especially for kids.

The big business model that films must be a part of to survive has inevitably caused an ageing for these supposedly innocent films- case in point- the Toy Story franchise and Inside Out- which obviously widens the demographic but presents such a characteristic, formula based film to impressive youngsters, I can’t help but sigh to myself.

 

Trust me when I say this isn’t good.

 

I think there’s already pressure to grow and be socially accepted without us promoting a certain kind of reality through mainstream film, media.

Is there any out for people to grow outside of society and its norms? I doubt.

Is there a reason why we really shouldn’t present formulated reality to kids? Yes, please change this rhetoric!?

Kids shouldn’t be led down your narrow field of experience nor be force fed beliefs that will ultimately fail them when they really need to call upon them.

 

Have you ever felt like life was getting too monotonous and totally unlike the excitement and good-frenzy that you associated with a good life? I did. I do. My friends do as well. My ultimate OMFG moment, when I realized nothing was interesting taught me just this- that life gets worse with expectation.

It sucks that we have to pick and choose among all of our life the moments that were fun and cool and forget the others because of the monotony and drudgery they would otherwise remind us of. This classification based on what a good life has to be- never normal and varying over a significant spectrum of emotions- leaves me so distraught because every single low I go through reinforces the belief in me that I have lost. Lost what? Who cares? It’s just the bitterness of failure that steeps my rational mind, because of one little setback- I can’t handle it.  

 

Boredom, paralysis, sadness are clear signs of failure, right?

I have to say yes because status quo decided that for me.

I have no real sense of reality because then I’d accept willingly the tasks I am assigned, I’d quietly sit out the days when I’m low as an unchained anchor and I’d know now, not to dream of perfection in life.

Balance- balance is all I can hope for because perfection is just too much of an ideal notion.

However we still hold on, clutching to the faint hopes that perfection will actually prevail someday, so it can restore our faith in our own beliefs- ones we can no longer trust but can’t find the strength to shake off.

Grow up, guys.  Let kids grow up normally, too (not with the sparkling barbie style glasses that promise endless parties and dancing and perfectly groomed gentlemen to fulfil her every whim).

Mourning A Loss

Watch me cry over the deepest loss I have yet faced in my life- my entire childhood.

Okay, so this is what happened to me last week.

I was doing some much needed cleaning and sorting in my home (because I was on a new year, new me! kind of high) and I found tons of stuff that transported me straight to 10 years ago. It’s a little scary for me to realize I’d been hoarding books and games since that innocent little age and that it’s been 10 whole years since I’d begun properly reading. I was a little overwhelmed by the quantity of my selfishness and the amount of support my reading habit had obviously been benefitted by- so thank you everybody for spoiling me as a kid.

The weirder aspect of memories gushing is the distinctive feeling of nostalgia- I had no real experience of that until I came face to face with the objects that literally made my life complete then- and nostalgia has such a stand out flavour among all the other emotions! It’s a blend of welcome realizations, filled with the regret for the quick passage of time, the illusion of peace and quiet and utter satisfaction (that only a poor memory can support because I don’t believe anybody had that peaceful a life, as quiet a life as they wax poetic about while reminiscing about their childhood) and the joy of uncovering the secrets of your younger self- someone you’ve obviously grown up from but didn’t realize when exactly you changed so drastically.

Continue reading “Mourning A Loss”

How NOT to get into a Premier Institution Of Your Nation

I’m a semi qualified expert on this so dubious advice can be expected.

 

In all my years of existence, the Indian dream is one I’ve failed and whether or not I know you, you are allowed to judge me based on that fact. The Indian Dream, if you are blissfully oblivious, is the fact that most successful and lucrative careers in India come out of incubation centres known as IITs (which more often than not requires traumatic, painful maternity wards for the actual birth) so every parent wishes for his children the success that going to an IIT entitles them to. There’s a whole thriving and cut throat industry for entry into these incubation centres which creates a suitable environment for the foetus to grow strong (if you’re already healthy and preferably already crawling and talking) and provide little to no care to the foetus that may have some complications in the birthing process, leaving them weaker and flailing when they need to enter the competition for the incubators.

Bad, uncomfortable analogies aside, let me tell you how to NOT get into an IIT because if anything, I learned from the coaching centre I chose to go to and how I spent the past 2 years of my life, it’s this.

 

  1. GET FREAKED OUT BY THE LEVEL OF COMPETITION BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGIN TO LEARN

  This is the most frightening aspect of the competition into the IITs. I remember the first day I went for coaching, there was group of guys in the last benches that would answer questions based on concepts I had never heard of before in my life- before the question was posed to the class completely. I was impressed at first but this began to happen in every single class for every single subject (it got so annoying I can’t even find it funny to date how desperate they were to show off) and this kept me from even trying to understand some concepts because I was disheartened within a single month of the coaching. I had only 23 months left to fail. Yay! Continue reading “How NOT to get into a Premier Institution Of Your Nation”

On Identity and Insecurities

Okay, so this may come as a belated confession, but I’m a confused person in general and something about these topics make me all the more unclear. Sorry in advance.

 

In case you missed it, I have certain reservations about my writing and that’s because I’m no expert at anything and that fact steeps me in so much insecurity, I’d but almost given this(typing) up. I also have little readership that will be significantly affected if I stop writing but it would’ve given me some other fact to be insecure about- that I failed at blogging (but at least I tried, right? Wrong.).

Okay, my preliminary insecurities aside so that you can’t call me out later on, what about other people?

I just spent today morning watching one of the many that call themselves YouTubers talking about how he’d given up opportunities to do really cool projects because he felt he looked fat. I can’t explain how terrible I felt to hear him talk about his insecurity with his weight issues so openly because all his regular videos are usually taking on a more sarcastic side of his being fat and gross and un-funny. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. He said he’d lost his sense of security when he wasn’t controlling the camera because he’d be called fat for being reasonably healthy and that gave him extreme anxiety- but nearly every other video of his is him being all jovial and confident about those very topics and roasting himself in front of his fans. Worse still, in any metric of “success”, he seems like a perfect candidate- he has 2 published books, millions of viewers, short films and a successful podcast. I felt personally very, very sorry for him because this seemed very out of character for him but then I realized the confidence could be a part of his personal YouTube persona and it wasn’t really all him and the anxious, scared and insecure part was a lot of him off screen and that cost me some time wondering how much of our identities are made up and how much of it was dictated by our insecurities. I don’t know your answer to this, I’m not you and neither am I on Facebook or Instagram or any other photo sharing apps because of my insecurity based on how I look. I don’t need to go through the judgement and self deprecation I might face on seeing ugly (read all) pictures of myself on the interweb.

I have insecurities, admittedly.

I wonder why though? Continue reading “On Identity and Insecurities”