To All You Teasers;

Disclaimer: DO NOT read this if you happen to be family. You guys are terrific snoops and you don’t need to know any of this.

Lately I’ve realized how mortified people are to be teased with me and while that is extremely offensive to me, I understand.

Let me explain.

I know, all too well, the urge to tease people with others and how it’s unkind but so much fun if they don’t appreciate the teasing. It’s such a sadistic pleasure to tease people with people they outrightly dislike- although it’s a pain in the A to be on the receiving end of this behaviour. Worse still, the more extreme your aversion to be teased with somebody, the more of a ship it becomes.

There’s two possible outcomes to this teasing (from friends’ perspective):

  1. That the ship eventually transforms into a real thing and you can take credit for all the “matchmaking” that is, even by a far stretch of imagination, not.
  2. It’s sufficient payment for your sins of a similar fashion for which you have to paypaypay.

 

In my case, the reason nobody wants to be teased with me is probably because some people ARE and to all of you, all I have to say is sorry. You probably have some karmic baggage from previous generations.

What I genuinely cannot understand though, is why people that have faced the pain of being teased continue to do so!

I realize that most of the people I’ve been teased with have at some point or the other been on my radar so I have little to offer as justification in that case. In case you really wanted to know, nothing came out of the teasing. (Thanks, friends.

(To be frank, I spent multiple years of my life hung up on someone because my friends’ teasing made me see them in a whole new light but I didn’t tell them this until very recently. Ha- serves you right.) )

HOWEVER in the case when I can plausibly never have any feelings for anyone, teasing is literally the worst deterrent for any potential friendship, too and this I cannot accept. I’m being serious because this fear is apparent to me when guys talk as testily as people ever can- there’s just so much social pressure people can withstand and I’m not all that interesting that people will go against the grain to talk to me, so please don’t make it awkward? Thanks.

It’s just a damn shame when the possibility of friendship is lost on account of aimless whisperers. Just saying.

 

Just before you forget, tease as you wish to be teased in return.

Also, people that are afraid of approaching people out of fear of people teasing them- you’re pansies of the highest order. Just saying.