Yearning for Self Reliance

It’s my personal experience that even though I’ve been an adult for a long time, I feel terribly incompetent to handle the typically adult facets of life. I still feel young and naive and very ignorant about most things.

I blame my parents. (It’s debatable actually.)

A ‘sheltered’ life comes at the cost of my total dependence on others- family and friends, sure- but it’s still a shame that I can’t drive anywhere, can’t pay any bills, can’t handle my own finances (though I have none, but that’s a minor concern), can’t be of any practical use in any emergency because I’m busy doing stuff for myself. This sucks because I see my cousins and friends be amazingly useful IRL and basically win at life while I’m stuck typing meaningless rants and figuring out what I can be good at, maybe.

It’s not just being of use, but the self reliance that obviously results from having skills that help you survive that makes me jealous. Deeply jealous.

Self reliance is such an important factor in taking decisions I would kill to have any at all. I’m not exaggerating when I say I have none, because I don’t have what it takes to survive! I’ve never been involved in paperwork, I’ve never cooked basic food, I’ve never driven myself anywhere, I’ve never been shopping for the ‘essentials’(because it seems boring), I’ve never even thought of supporting myself financially before this. In any other society but ours, I’d have failed in survival itself- not counting how I can’t handle weather and myself and studying- but here it’s only an added bonus that I can live independently. I know this seems like a weird wish because I’m cribbing about not having paid bills and done the dishes and worked a day in my life but this is seriously something that bothers me.

Continue reading “Yearning for Self Reliance”