Yearning for Self Reliance

It’s my personal experience that even though I’ve been an adult for a long time, I feel terribly incompetent to handle the typically adult facets of life. I still feel young and naive and very ignorant about most things.

I blame my parents. (It’s debatable actually.)

A ‘sheltered’ life comes at the cost of my total dependence on others- family and friends, sure- but it’s still a shame that I can’t drive anywhere, can’t pay any bills, can’t handle my own finances (though I have none, but that’s a minor concern), can’t be of any practical use in any emergency because I’m busy doing stuff for myself. This sucks because I see my cousins and friends be amazingly useful IRL and basically win at life while I’m stuck typing meaningless rants and figuring out what I can be good at, maybe.

It’s not just being of use, but the self reliance that obviously results from having skills that help you survive that makes me jealous. Deeply jealous.

Self reliance is such an important factor in taking decisions I would kill to have any at all. I’m not exaggerating when I say I have none, because I don’t have what it takes to survive! I’ve never been involved in paperwork, I’ve never cooked basic food, I’ve never driven myself anywhere, I’ve never been shopping for the ‘essentials’(because it seems boring), I’ve never even thought of supporting myself financially before this. In any other society but ours, I’d have failed in survival itself- not counting how I can’t handle weather and myself and studying- but here it’s only an added bonus that I can live independently. I know this seems like a weird wish because I’m cribbing about not having paid bills and done the dishes and worked a day in my life but this is seriously something that bothers me.

It’s actual recognition of the privilege I am so accustomed to that I never noticed it till quite recently.

Survival skills may be mundane and monotonous and I may just have aged 20 years mentally but I wish I had self reliance.

I wish I didn’t have to call my parents to recharge my prepaid phone every two months. I genuinely wish I could bring food to the table when my mother isn’t keeping well instead of being dependent on my grandparents.

Imagine being born in most other societies where it’s almost normal to move out from your parent’s houses at 18, work to pay for college and rent and all of that. Would you survive that life? I would not and it’s certainly not all my doing, it’s how we’re conditioned to live- clearly. Our priorities are never going to be learning to make ourselves breakfast because we need to win at education/sport/anything that’s brag-worthy.

Is this a problem though? A lifelong dependence to your guardians can never be ideal. It then makes no difference to be 20 over 15. Living out of your parent’s pocket may make it seem like you have security but that’s a definite drawback because of the complacency, lack of urgency it nurtures.


I don’t know, I just feel grossly averse to the idea of being attached to my parents materialistically.


Do we need this kind of grooming whatsoever?

Probably. It’d just help break gender stereotypes if it were more common to live on your own feet from early on.Besides that long winded inference, I just think I would feel more confident taking on life had I learned to cook/clean/take charge of my own life earlier. I don’t know if I could ever create a company from scratch because 1. I have no knowledge of running something and a company would need more than just faith from my side, 2. I wouldn’t go forward with my own ideas and take it off ground because I have no confidence that I could run something that needed to potentially support others.


This is so general I’m obviously skipping out several of the contingencies that make self reliance unnecessary for most people. India isn’t all that badly off for the lack of survival grooming in its youth, is it? Is it?


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